Had so much fun today. Left work at 5 today to attend a company event cum movie screening of X-Men 3! Had 2 tix at 1st so i called my sis along. Then 1 hr to the start of the show, a colleague gave me his ticket and the 1st person that i thought of calling was Spencer, since he's always complaining bout how he's always bored hahah.

Anyway, X-Men 3 rocks, i tell u! The special effects and the whole action scene was 'Whoa' man! I love Marvel's creations and X-Men has been one of my favourite series ever since i was little. I remember watching the old cartoon series (i still remember the theme song) and X Men: Evolution heh. The movie may be different from the comics, but i still think it's good! I guess my opinion doesn't really mean much coz i'm biased towards anything that's related to X-Men : ) I just LOVE shows with people possessing special abilities. And guess who's my favourite character in the movie? ANGEL! he's so cute and his wings are beautiful!!! Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to fly like that??!

ok, I think i'm a bit out of character here... but i still havent gotten over the excitement of watching the show. I really don't mind watching X Men 3 again. I guess i'll get the DVD hee.

Oh yeah, for those who have watched X Men 3 already: did u stay and wait for the credits to roll? It didn't just end there, u know. SPOILER AHEAD, dun read if u dun wanna find out (the one in colour)

Professor X didn't die. If u waited till the end, u'll see a short scene after the credits where Mystique(i think it's her), a nurse now, walks into a room. Then u hear this voice and Mystique saying "Charles?" So u see! He didn't die!!!

The ending was kinda sad. Spence and Hazel apparently found the expression on my face very amusing; they kept laughing. : ( Not funny k. We ate at Macs after that, talked a little, then went home. Yup! Had fun : )

funny how coincidental things can get. Like on Friday, i didn't wanna have dinner by myself or at home so i was just about to pick up my phone to call someone when my IJ buddies messaged me! We had dinner at Gardens : ) Haven't seen Sheila in aeons, and she changed so much! Well, maybe just the hair. And speaking of hair, they were so shocked that i cut my hair short. But i like it! I'm finally getting used to my hair and it's so easy to wash my hair now hahah..

on saturday, met up with an old friend i haven't seen since SYDR...and we caught "over the hedge". Actually i wanted to watch something else but since he already booked the tickets, i didn't argue. But it wasn't so bad after all. Hammie is one cute hyperactive squirrel hee :D thanks for being patient with me man! U know what i mean : ) hope to see u again soon yeah?

Went for ZJ and along the way, crossed paths with the last person i wanted to see. So annoying. I was actually alright until he turned away and muttered something silly. And then later he was rude to my friend. I have alot of things to comment about but i think it's better left unsaid.

ZJ was good as usual, but it ended pretty late this time, cause we have to prepare for YES camp, which is about 3 weeks away... I'm under music and intercessory! Noooo! i don't know how to do those power-house prayers! Can u imagine? On baptism night, i heard the intercessory team have to pray and interceed continuously. 4 hours! 4 hours i tell u! i can't focus that long.... i should have volunteered to be a facil instead..sobs..
Anyway, I was sorta talking about that with Kelly and Jeremy on the way home and i managed to let out what was troubling me. What she told me comforted me and i felt much better after we shared that conversation. Thanks dear :) We agreed to chat later on the phone but i fell asleep cause i was so tired....

Yup! and today i spent my afternoon studying with Al, Julie and Matt. Though it wasn't as productive, coz we laughed more than we studied. hahaha... heavy glow hahaha.. u guys know what i mean heh ;p
I heard bout something from a good friend and my initial reaction was to laugh gleefully and gloat over it. What goes around, comes around, i thought. But then after thinking it over and especially recalling today's sermon (father said something about not judging and comparing people, but instead showing them love), i felt kinda guilty, and sorry for that person. Maybe he really has personal issues that he needs to sort out. I still can't understand why he's like that, but i hope someone or something will help him change that part of him. Forgiving others is definitely difficult, especially when that person obviously still holds some bitter feelings, but i hope that day by day, i'll learn to accept that what's done, is done, to learn from it and not repeat it again. I still can't forgive easily, cause my pride won't let me. But i hope my desire to forgive will overcome my pride and self-centredness. Right now, that desire is still a seed, but a budding one and i know that with His graces, His abouding love, they will be the nutrients to help the seed to sprout, and eventually grow in full bloom.

i hope that made sense :/

: ( Right now, i feel very unaccomplished and useless.

Sigh, although my colleagues are really nice people and work has gotten better, i still feel that something is lacking. Can't really point a finger on it. Oh well. Can't wait for Saturday.

Argh! I hate it when i get myself into situations like these. This isn't the 1st time this has happened and frankly speaking i'm quite sick and tired of it. Everytime this happens, i get all worried over it, knowing that nothing good will come out of it.

To ysa: I'm really sorry.. for everything. I'm sorry for disappointing you, for not meeting up to your expectations, maybe even wasting your time. I'm not gonna make any excuses and say i was too busy, coz u probably wouldn't have believed me anyways. What you said, i've realised that too, a few days ago. I guess it's better to have many great friends around and leaving it at that - good friends. I don't wanna have best friends if they expect too much of me and end up getting hurt themselves, which just leads to me feeling upset too. You know me, how i tend to keep a lot of things to myself. And you know how it is as we get older. We have to be more realistic and understand that we can't always be together, what with our commitments and all. To me, catching up once in a while is good enough for me. Anyways, it's good that u see it that way now. I just hope that we'll still be good friends...

I finally got down to studying. Today, after my electone organ class, i went down to SPI to study with Julianna and Joel. Unfortunately, Joel forgot to bring all of his study materials so he went home instead. So it was just me and Julianna. Then Carol and Tiffany joined us later. It was damn fun la! We crapped a lot of stuff and laughed so much till our stomachs ached. But we did manage to get some studying done. Even tested each other on bio : ) So we've decided to meet up every Sunday to study. This is definitely good for me. At least i'm making some progress study-wise.

Oh and I love my ZJ community more than ever. In the past, it wasn't that important to me and i sometimes skipped it for the stupidest reasons. But now, after actually making the effort to get to know them better, i realised what great friends they make and how they're there for me and have seen me grow, both spiritually and mentally. They have seen me thru my ups and downs and accept me for who i am, which is great, isn't it? God is great and i thank him for giving me this wonderful community.

K, i have nothing much to talk about so now i shall watch my taiwanese drama, 'It started with a kiss"! I have been addicted to it ever since Sylvia introduced it to me hee. It's lame and very manga-ish, but still funny. And you can watch it on youtube! It's not very clear, but it's good enough for me!

Just a warning to my non-christian/catholic frens: u might disagree with what i say here.

Going for the camp made me reflect more deeply and in the process, i learnt a lot more about myself... at least that's what i think. It didn't get me on an emotional high like the previous camps, coz the focus wasn't on PnW. I didn't get to hear God talking to me though i tried be as quite as possible (but i guess it's okay, coz it doesn't just suddenly happen, Spiritual growth is gradual and i'll need to have more personal time with God for that to happen). It wasn't exactly a silent retreat in the end, coz we were still allowed to talk and mingle around on the 1st day. Anyways, my bunk mates and I were talking crap and made so much noise at night that it sorta distracted some people. I thought i pissed them off so i decided to really try and be silent-at least during the sessions.

The sessions were good, in a way that they made me appreciate myself and how i was 'moulded by God'. I was always never satisfied with myself. I wished i was better, smarter, more confident, etc. I had so many insecurities and negative thoughts within me. But I failed to realise that God is my creator and so, he would love me as I am; imperfections and all. No 2 persons are the same. Put together our personalities, feelings, appearances and experiences and you'll realise that. All of us are unique in our own ways. I am unique. And for that, i am contented.

I especially liked the "calling by name" reflection, i felt the verse was really relevant and it was very personalized.

We watched a movie too. (Heh, it was kinda boring at 1st and i dozed off a few times initally) It showed how very human Jesus can be and it displayed his playful side too, how he bonded with his disciples. I've forgotten that Jesus is human and like us, he can be prone to temptations too; but if he was able to overcome it, why can't I? I should at least try. It also proves how much he loves us, knowing that he had to suffer and die and yet he still followed through with God's plan for him. As humans, we all are afraid of death and suffering and he too i guess. That is why I'm going to try to be a better person. I asked for self-control because sometimes i tend to do things without thinking through it 1st. And end up hurting people in the process. So I'll try to have more control over my anger and to be more mindful of others.

It's really amazing how much this camp revealed more personal discoveries to me. How i realised something about myself through a good friend ( i only realised that after re-thinking what she said). I broke down and cried during a normal gathering for apparently no reason, but maybe it's coz i was thinking too much. It was so bad that i was still sniffling and hiccuping uncontrollably after i've stopped crying. Somehow, i think God wanted me to release all the anger, frustrations and hurt that i've felt during the past few months. Seriously, i haven't cried like this for years and felt so much pain while doing so, even for the previous YES camps. It's like all the emotions that i've kept under-wraps finally surfaced- and i couldn't control it.

It took me a while to really feel peace; that only came to me after the camp. A strong sense of calm washed over me and with it-the desire to be like Christ and to serve God with all my being. I hope this feeling lasts forever, cause words can't describe such a wonderful feeling. It did come with a sense of fear too-that I wouldn't be able to fufill it and fail terribly. Then this thought came to me: I shouldn't worry about that, as God will be there to guide me. I just have to say the word and he'll take over from there.

"I am not my own, you are in control."

It may sound scary, but like this excerpt from a song says, if i really want to spread the love of God to others, I have to surrender and let the spirit lead. I wouldn't be able to do it alone.

Also, i can't feel silly and regretful for some of the impulsive decisions i made in the past. Yes, they were mistakes, but they are meant to be made anyways, get what i mean? It's from there that we learn and grow. I'm grateful for each and every experience and i wouldn't be the person i am today if not for them.

This doesn't mean that i'm free of worries though. I'm still worried about my A's and entrance to Poly. Only this time, i'll share some of these worries with Him and i'll try, bit by bit, to entrust them to Him.

Sorry if this post is boring, but i really wanted to share my experience of the camp and 'spread the love of christ to others' :)

I am finally back from camp people! ......Ok, actually, i came back late afternoon, but went outta the house again soon after to celebrate mother's day.. So i'm extremely tired, mentally and physically.

Camp was a really different experience altogether and it made me reflect a lot on my life's experiences....on the whole, it was good and i'm glad I went for it.

Urgh i'm actually feeling kinda sleepy right now so i'll turn in. I'll update during work tomorrow. Nights.

I'm sitting at my desk once again, feeling crappy and irritated. 1st of all, i can barely see what i'm typing, so much so that i have to actually peer at the computer screen( my face is about 2 inches away from it) to see what i'm writing. Everything is so blurry and my eyes feel umcomfortable. And do u know the reason why? Stupid colour contacts. They keep sliding up my eyeball. I try pulling them down but once i blink, it slides up again. Urgh.I think it's coz of the aircon. Even raising the temperature to 28degrees evidently has no effect. Damn.

Secondly, I'm hungry. And there's no food around here, save for some lousy junkfood. i guess it's my fault i didn't have lunch since i wanted to slim down, but i've seriously put on more weight recently... ah well.. about 2 more hrs to go before i have dinner..so so hungry....

Thirdly, I feel isolated from most of my friends. Because of work and other commitments, i've been pretty busy for quite a while, so i haven't had time to catch up with them-or rather, made the effort to. Like how i haven't called up a certain friend-simply because i didn't feel like it or was busy, so now i think he doesn't wanna have anything to do with me. And then there're other friends who are either busy with school, work or new friends. Even when we still talk, i don't feel the bond or the closeness anymore. It sucks, really; this feeling of loss. Hate it hate it.

The realisation of not being able to catch up with my friends during the June hols is another reason. Some of them will be having their term break, so it'll be a great time to hang out, but no, i can't, cause I'm working. The mere thought of everyone having fun while i'm wasting away at work is depressing enough for me.

It's stupid, really. Looking back, i made a lot of terrible choices and look where it's gotten me now? Nowhere. I dunno what's the next step to take, whether i should continue retaking my A's, or whether i should just go poly. Wait, can I even make it to poly? I need to do up a portfolio(some 3D-animation clip) in order in get into DET, but i dunno if i can. It's just hard la.

On a good note, my secondary sch friend, Karin Teo, came to my workplace for a meeting with one of my colleagues and we chatted a little. Apparently, she's on an attachment program (final yr in poly) and she seems to be doing well. Which leaves another thought: Why didn't I make that choice to go poly???!! I would have done better there.

Sigh. My contacts are finally back into place. But that doesn't change the fact that i still feel like shit. And hungry too.

Listening to "all my life" by Parachute Band again. I think i'll never get sick of it. Just something random, but I really really miss SYDR.

Oh, ZJ camp is this coming friday yay! This time, it's gonna be a silent retreat, where we're just gonna spend most of the time reflecting on stuff and reading bible scriptures. Can u imagine? 3 days spent in complete isolation. No talking or any discussion of the sort. We're even gonna eat by ourselves! But i think it's good for a change. It may be mentally exhausting, but somehow, i have this feeling that alot of issues are gonna be resolved during my quiet time with God. Well, we'll see.

YES camp is from 15th to 18th of June people! So hurry up and sign up k? Ask me or any of the ZJ peeps for more info :)

Anyways, i'm glad i went for mass with ppl like Clem and Wil yesterday. Normally, i won't really be paying attention to the sermons when i'm with other ppl (i get distracted easily). But i actually focused and hardly opened my mouth to talk at all. It was a really different feeling; mass was a whole lot more meaningful and i felt really refreshed and relaxed. So, i guess I better go more often with them.

Cherie and i met up after that and we really caught up! Had lunch at my old workplace and we received free drinks and soup, plus a staff discount! heheh, working there has its benefits.. We really talked a lot, and thru our talk, i realise that people can be really nosy. I won't name names, though. Still, it's disappointing to know that a certain once-close friend is divulging the going-ons in my private life to others. I don't know how the hell he managed to find out, but he could have at least kept it to himself, and not call people up and talk about it. And doing it even when he knows i hate that is what makes it all the more frustrating. That aside, i had a great time (although we ate so much that drowsiness kicked in later, so much so that both of us felt too lethargic to do anything). So much for shopping and doing silly stuff haha..

Oh and i'm too lazy to upload the photos la..sorry girl.. besides, i'm still not accustomed to my hair haha.

Yay! We're finally approaching the weekends! haha.. I love fridays, because it's the only weekday where i have a later curfew, which means i can meet up with my friends! heh and only 3 more hours left till i knock off!

I cut my hair again. Yes, i know it's short enough already as it is, but my boss couldn't stand the messiness of it, so she actually treated me to a haircut (which cost her 45 bucks) at east point. I DO miss my long hair, but there's no point regretting what's already been done, is there? Though i'm sure i'll regret it even more this weekend after meeting up with u guys. I can already anticipate the comments i'll be getting. SIGH.

On a good note, I'll be meeting up with a dear friend that i havent seen in ages, this Sunday! woohooo can't wait!

Sigh, i am so bored right now.... it's lunchtime and everyone's out, with the exception of this strict lady (she keeps checking up on me o_O).

Anyways, I wish I could stay at home and play my games, I've bought so many over the weekend and I really wanna finish them all! I'm almost done with Kingdom Hearts 2 heheh.. but I'm not allowed to touch my PS2 on weekdays unless i do some studying, which I don't think i'll ever get around to doing. Seriously, i still don't understand why i made that stupid decision to go to a JC. It's one of my biggest mistakes ever. To think, i wasted 2 of my precious years playing away when i should be studying. Books aren't my forte, and my grades clearly show it all. But then again, if I didn't go to CJC, I probably wouldn't have met great friends like Cherie who've stuck with me all these years. Sure, we did have our own little "disagreements" and stuff, but we worked it out along the way. I'm glad I know her and I really thank her for putting in so much effort to keep in touch. Love ya girl!
Heard that Cherie? Now you can't say that I don't care k! hahaha..

Alright, it's back to work for me. Sorry if this post's boring, I promise it'll get more interesting as I go along k?

Although i'm apprehensive of blogs, here i am, having my very own online journal. Since everyone seems so taken with it (well, the people around me, at least), i've decided to try and see how it goes.

=> Melissa
=> 16th Mar '87
=> Catholic
=> twenty
=> Pisces
=> exij-ian
=> excjc
=> wasting her time

LOVES
=> God
=> MY Buddies :)
=> Gaming
=> Music
=> Final Fantasy
=> T&K Dramas
=> Daydreaming
=> Drawing
=> Animation
=> Fantasy Novels
=> Baked Rice
=> Rabbits

HATES
=> Self-righteous ppl
=> Mugging (Who doesn't?!)
=> Brinjals
=> Dates => Getting up early
=> Being pressured to do sth


=> 'Triton' Studio Keyboard!
=> PS3
=> New Camera
=> New Wallet
=> Samsung E-770
=> New Highlights
=> Watch X Men 3
=> Watch Pirates of the Carribean: DMC
=> Watch Eragon
=> FFXII
=> Go backpacking with my pals
=> Complete portfolio
=> Make it to DET


*

Alison

*

Andrew

*

Bong

*

Charmaine

*

Cherie

*

Chris

*

Daryl

*

David

*

GOD'S RHINOS

*

Jean

*

Joel Zee

*

Kah Ying

*

Kelly

*

Mel P.

*

Nathaniel

*

Nick

*

Ryan

*

Sylvia

*

TheLittleRocks

*

Zach

*May 2006
*June 2006
*July 2006

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